Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
if only i could text you this smell
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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