I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
