I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
