how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
