laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You're a waste of cheezeits
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
