BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
