dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize