Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
