loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
