just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
