He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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