i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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