I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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