well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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