no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
