she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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