i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize