I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
