we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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