Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize