The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
be right there i have to get my cape
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
