You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
