I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
