You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize