Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
