Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
