Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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