that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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