bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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