yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I am naked and annoyed.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
