I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
