I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
