My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
