Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
