How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Found the puke drawer
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
