didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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