I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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