It's Friday. Sex?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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