Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
