oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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