Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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