I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She's the barista slut.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
