Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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