So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Dear god my vagina.
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