oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
we should paint friendship bongs
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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