Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
