I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
