You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
