Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
my being single is dangerous.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
how does that bad decision feel?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize