I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I think your dad took our porno
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
