He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Randomize
