i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I just googled if crying burns calories
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
