I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
