And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
