I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
