or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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